


Nothing Breaks Like A Heart

by amethyst-noir (Arbonne)



Series: Stephen Strange Bingo Collection [5]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Canon Compliant, Cloak of Levitation (Marvel), Other, Stephen Strange Bingo 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 19:11:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18610735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arbonne/pseuds/amethyst-noir
Summary: Spoileralert for Avengers: Endgame. This is canon compliant.No other tags and no summary to not spoil people. Click on this and everything is on you.





	Nothing Breaks Like A Heart

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this story could also be a subtitle for Avengers: Endgame. For which this little thing is a missing scene, set at the very end. Proceed with caution because of course it's spoiling the movie and it adheres to canon. It's a missing scene, not an AU. Sorry. But the pain had to be written down so that I can now begin to think about how to fix this mess and bring Tony and Stephen back together like it's supposed to be.
> 
> @stephenstrangebingo prompt: The second picture prompt (I'm so sorry that I took this gorgeous photo and put it into a context like that!)  
> @badthingshappenbingo: _Funeral/Memorial_ (You know why. Just think about the one scene in Endgame where Stephen wears a suit, looking miserable and way too thin with only Wong at his side. All of this came from that one split-second in the movie. I would have never thought in a million years that I would write about the actual canon funeral of one half of my OTP when I got this card. Ah, to be back in those innocent times when Endgame was still a threat on the horizon but not here yet.)
> 
>  **Summary:** _Stephen Strange fell in love with Tony Stark in 14,000,605 different timelines, only to lose him in the one that really mattered._

"Where did you even get this from?"

Stephen pulled on his old suit once again to try to make it fit. It was hopeless. While he was more muscular than he had been back in his surgeon days he'd also lost a significant amount of weight over the last few days and it showed clearly now that he was in his once perfectly fitting suit.

"Wong?" he asked when no answer came and looked up just in time to catch Wong's frown in the mirror.

Wong had been frowning a lot at him lately. Mostly in concern. Now he came closer and looked Stephen over.

"You have to eat more," was his verdict and Stephen rolled his eyes.

"That doesn't answer my question and we both know that I don't have to eat 'more', I should start eating again in general."

He flinched when Wong's warm, strong hand suddenly landed low on his back. "So you realize that you're starving yourself."

Stephen was tempted to flee from the undeserved gentle touch but he was too tired and mentally exhausted to move. He nodded instead. "Of course I realize." He swallowed, hard. "It's just that nothing stays down anyway and so it's easier to just not eat anything in the first place." 

Wong didn't say anything to that but a subtle touch of magic made the suit fit better. Stephen had been shying away from doing magic ever since… 

"Thank you," he whispered and Wong squeezed his side gently before withdrawing. "Ready?"

"No. And neither are you. But it's time."

It was Wong who conjured up the portal that brought them the Stark-Potts residence. The bright sunshine hurt his eyes and he wished that he hadn't left the Cloak behind but he didn't want to remind all the assembled about magic. He would have preferred to stay away but Pepper Potts-Stark had asked him personally to attend.

She even greeted him, carefully shaking his hand and looking at him with a strength that Stephen himself hadn't felt since the moment he'd seen Tony die. "Thank you for coming," Pepper - she had insisted on that right after they'd arrived and before Stephen even start to try to figure out how to address her - said and Stephen swallowed down tears. He couldn't find any words in return and she gifted him with an sad, understanding smile. "Stay near," she begged and so Stephen and Wong ended up just behind Tony's family and the remaining Avengers when the wreath with the very first arc reactor on it was set into the water to drift away. 

He'd never felt more out of place anywhere else before.

Thankfully, Wong was at his side, as always.

"Were you there?" Stephen asked afterwards, safely hidden behind a tree from the rest of the mourning congregation. 

"Where?"

"The wedding. Tony promised you an invite, an eternity ago." 

Wong didn't react for a long time before he finally nodded, carefully not saying anything. 

"Good," Stephen said. "At least one of us could see them happy and with the promise of a bright future in front of them."

"Stark had five years of the life he always wanted. With the woman he loved at his side. That's more than many other people get."

Oh, that one hurt but Stephen was too tired to react. "It's still not nearly what he deserved. And I was the one that doomed him. I shouldn't be here."

Wong once again reached out but shied away before he could make contact. "He knew that it was the only chance and he took it. You both did. You might have brought him to this point but the decision was still his."

"I manipulated him, the universe, everything. I wish…"

"Don't," Pepper suddenly interrupted them. Stephen jumped while Wong just moved aside so that so could take his place in front of Stephen. She, too, reached out and gently touched him on the arm. "Tony knew how this would end. So did I, actually." She smiled, sad and pained but still a smile. "Come back when all of this is over," she begged. "I want to talk to you and I want you to meet Morgan." 

Tony's daughter. Whose father he had taken away. He couldn't. He shouldn't. If there had been ever the sliver of a chance of him being strong enough to wield that damn gauntlet he would have taken it from Tony in a heartbeat. He wouldn't have left anyone behind except Wong and the Cloak. Not a _family_.

Pepper seemed to read his thoughts. "We wouldn't have had her without your choice back then. We wouldn't have had five years together with our child. I thank you for that. And Tony did, too." 

"I don't… I didn't… I…"

"Shh." Wong's arm where suddenly around him, holding him together when he began to shake uncontrollably. "I'll take him back home. He's still not quite here." The fact that he didn't even protest and was willing to follow Wong's lead without even thinking about it made it clear just how true those words were.

Pepper squeezed his arm once again. "I'll come by in a few days if that's better. It just really want to talk to you, Stephen. I want to get to know you better. We both did, actually." Now she was tearing up, too.

The rest of the interaction and afternoon became a blur for Stephen. Once he'd prided himself on his memory but now he was glad for the haze that had settled over him. 

He only came to partially after Wong had put him onto the couch back home, the Cloak standing watch over him.

"I love him, you know," Stephen finally confessed in a near silent whisper. "I want to go back and save him more than anything else."

Wong, almost at the door, took a deep breath and stopped in mid-motion. "I know," he said after a long time. "Which is exactly why you won't do anything stupid. You have to honor his sacrifice by respecting it. Meet his wife, get to know her and his daughter. He talked about that, once or twice."

"Really?" Stephen hated how small and insecure he sounded. "You talked to him?"

Wong came back and settled beside Stephen. "Really," he confirmed. " I don't think that anyone outside of Pepper and myself know about that actually but he came to me after you'd… vanished and asked about you. He was bitter and angry at first but he came to understand. He knew, Stephen. Deep down he's known all along."

It didn't make anything better, not really, since Stephen had already feared that. Tony, bright, beautiful Tony had always had a penchant for self-sacrifice. Still, Stephen appreciated the effort.

Thankfully, Wong didn't try to placate him with meaningless platitudes. Instead he sat down beside Stephen and drew him into a careful embrace. This level - any level, really - of physical contact was still new between them but Stephen had become dependent on it in the few weeks he'd been back. Somehow, his five-year absence had made Wong more open and physically affectionate. Touch starved as he was he enjoyed the contact, despite it not being from the one he really wanted.

He would never, ever feel Tony's hands on him again. It was the first time he'd truly realized that and that was the moment he broke after weeks of hanging on by a threat.

Wong held him as he finally cried for real and not only a few hastily wiped away tears. He didn't say a word - a mercy, since every meaningless phrase couldn't even begin to touch the pain and guilt Stephen felt.

"It was Stark," Wong said after an eternity.

"What?"

"Your suit. And a few other things from your old life which I haven't given you yet." There was a pause. "For a while he was obsessed with you. He hated you but he was curious. Tried to learn everything about you, including your former life. He unearthed some of your things in an old storage facility and brought them to me. The suit was among them. I think he wanted to get to know you. And the more he did the more he began to understand. He told me once that he would have liked you as a friend."

There was nothing to say to that. Tony might have been prepared to forge a friendship with him but Stephen wanted him as a lover. Even more pain and heartbreak. It would still have been better. He would suffer through an eternity of unrequited love if it could bring Tony back.

The next day, the e-mail with the invitation to come over to watch the last message of Tony Stark with Pepper, her family and the Avengers arrived. He went with hesitation and only after Wong had more or less kicked him through the portal. This time he was in casual clothes but wrapped in the Cloak for added comfort and protection. And to hide. 

Pepper looked at him for a long moment before she shook his hand and introduced him to the people he didn't know personally, yet. Nobody was hostile but except for Pepper and Peter no one was very interested in him, either. Peter greeted him with a hug but otherwise kept his distance, too preoccupied with his own grief to really concentrate on anything else. Stephen was thankful for this small mercy. 

He stayed on the sidelines, almost hidden from the others and ruthlessly suppressed his tears. This was the last time he would ever see Tony, he didn't want the memory tainted by a veil of tears. As soon as the hologram had faded he gave up and let them fall. 

_I love you_ _._ He could _feel_ the truth of that deep in his heart and soul. _I will always love you._

"Stephen?" Pepper, with her little girl clinging to her, forced him back into reality. He hastily tried to wipe away his tears but then noticed that she looked just as wrecked as he felt and gave up with a sigh and an embarrassed smile. She smiled back. "This is Morgan," she introduced her daughter. "Morgan? This is Stephen. He's…" she hesitated, clearly unsure what he was besides the man who had taken her husband out into space and ultimately led him into death. "A friend," she said after a moment, surprising them both. "Your daddy spoke of him often."

Did he, really? Except to curse his name to hell and back? Stephen couldn't believe it, no matter what Wong had told him a couple of days before. But right now he had a little girl looking up at him, expecting something from him. He shoved aside everything and, after a moment of consideration, crouched down to be on her level. "Hello, Morgan."

The girl smiled at him, shy and surprisingly tear free. But then, she was so young and it had probably not quiet hit her yet that her father would never come back. Stephen suddenly envied her.

"You're the wizard!" she exclaimed, pointing at the Cloak and laughing when it waved at her. "Daddy told me about you! And you!" She grabbed the Cloak and petted the fabric.

"Shh, Morgan, here come over to uncle Happy. I have to talk with Stephen. Happy, could you? Just for a moment? Thank you." With Morgan away Pepper concentrated on him again. "Sorry about that but she's a bundle of neverending energy. She has that from her father." 

Stephen shrugged and forced himself to stand up again. "I don't mind and neither does the Cloak." It shook itself in a clear 'no, I don't' gesture. He and Pepper just looked at each other for minutes, both with tears in their eyes. _She knows_ , he realized. _She knows that I love him just like she does._

"Come back in a couple of days when everything has calmed down. I still want to get to know you." 

"Why?" Stephen honestly couldn't understand and let his confusion show.

"Because Tony didn't get the chance and he wanted to. We tend to like the same people. And right now I can use every friend I have or can make. And…" She hesitated. "… because you loved him and nobody should be out there alone in the cold. Not right now, when almost everyone got their happy ending and their loved ones back and we… didn't."

The bitter reminder should have been like a slap in the face but Pepper's open expression somehow took the hurt out of the words. They had lost, yes. Pepper her husband, the world Iron Man and Stephen the man he'd grown to love through seeing him fight and die trying over fourteen million times. And then he had to watch him die for real one last time.

"I'm sorry that it had to come to this. Really, if there had been even one possibility…" In his nightmares he still saw himself in the ruins of the Avengers Compound, looking at Tony with a single finger raised. There had been a moment of silent understanding worth more than a thousand words between them.

Stephen hoped, really, truly hoped that Tony had seen the love and despair in his eyes. That he'd known that the one sending him to his death also loved him with all of his heart and soul.

"I know." Pepper's soft words and a gentle touch brought him back from his reminiscing. "Stephen, I _know_." She was crying now and Stephen took her into an embrace by instinct.

They clung to each other for a few minutes, grieving for the man they man they both loved and a thousand might-have-beens, before Morgan's call for her mother broke them apart.

"I have to go back to the Sanctum Sanctorum," Stephen said, the words heavy on his tongue, when she shrugged in apology and gestured into the direction of the call.

"Don't be a Stranger," was her answer and for the first time since that misbegotten day on Titan Stephen could feel an honest smile on his face. But he didn't answer, thankful that Pepper didn't notice his non-reaction.

He wandered outside to the memorial stone and stood before it, burning it into his memory. He went down to his knees and touched the earth, felt the life flowing through it. "I love you," he told the ghost of futures long gone and buried. "I'm sorry that it had to end like this." He placed the empty case of the Time Stone on top of the earth, masked by a simple spell. Nobody but Pepper or Morgan would ever be able to see it. "Thank you for everything." His shaking fingers lingered over the artifact for a moment or two while his mind replayed a few scenarios where he had ended up on the same spot but with Tony at his side and Pepper's name in the stone before him. The unacceptable outcomes. The ones his heart cried out for.

"Goodbye."

He got up, conjured a portal and went through it without looking back. He knew deep down in his bones that he would see neither this place nor Pepper or Morgan ever again in this life.

**Author's Note:**

> This got [announced on my sideblog](https://whenthesunburnsout.tumblr.com/post/184465736998/nothing-breaks-like-a-heart-avengers-endgame/), [@whenthesunburnsout](https://whenthesunburnsout.tumblr.com/) because I promised to keep my main blog spoilerfree until the end of April. I hope I did the whole premise justice. This was a hard one to write and I cried actual tears into my keyboard. I like my angst, as you all know, but I really don't like character death, least of all a canon one.
> 
> Comments and Kudos will be adored beyond everything and help soothe the pain of Tony being... gone and Stephen suffering for all eternity.


End file.
